


Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' (Na Na Na Na Na Na)

by NeoVenus22



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Stargate Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-13
Updated: 2010-03-13
Packaged: 2017-10-07 23:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoVenus22/pseuds/NeoVenus22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Vala had heard enough about Rodney McKay's personality that she knew it might be something of a challenge.  That, or she thought his head might explode.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' (Na Na Na Na Na Na)

Vala had come to that particular room with the full intention of receiving pleasure. She hadn't expected it to come in the form of watching Dr. McKay come in, see a barely-clothed girl spread out on his bed, fall back a step, slam into the closing door, drop his tablet, and splash coffee all over the front of his shirt. She swallowed a giggle. Dr. McKay let out a splutter. "What... this... what are you _doing_ here? Oh, this will take forever to clean... I hope I didn't lose any data. How did you even get in here?"

"You know," Vala informed him primly, "most men enjoy coming home to find a beautiful woman in their bed." She contemplated this for a moment. "Unless they're Daniel. But then, I'm not entirely convinced that Daniel even likes women." She leaned forward, displaying her cleavage to its best advantage. Over the years, she had learned this tactic was far more beneficial than any amount of wit or cunning. Fortunately, she had that to fall back on. Not that she'd need it here. "Do... _you_ like women?"

"Ah, yes, that... who have you talked to?" stammered McKay. "Yes. Yes, I like women."

"Excellent. Well, we've established that we both have the requisite parts, and the desire for each other's requisite parts. So shall we get down to business?"

"Get down to business?"

"You really need everything spelled out for you, don't you?" Vala sighed and rolled back on McKay's very fussily arranged pillows. "I'm here to engage in sexual relations with you, Dr. McKay."

"Um," he said. "Yes. I get that. But... why?"

"Why does anyone?" she asked, feeling oddly philosophical. "A desire for connection, I suppose." It was what Daniel would've said. "Or it's just plain fun, if you do it right." That answer was all her.

"Right on both counts," said McKay, and she was relieved to see he was relaxing a bit. "But why me?"

The correct answer had multiple parts to it. For one, she had heard enough about Rodney McKay's personality that she knew it might be something of a challenge. That, or she thought his head might explode. And in a way, he reminded her of Daniel, but without all of those nasty strings attached that Daniel kept citing as the reason why he wouldn't take her to bed.

Of course, Vala knew perfectly well she couldn't say any of these things to him. Instead, she just shrugged. "Why not?"

"Are you serious about this?"

"Dr. McKay, I am about to tell you something I don't tell many people. The only times I am not serious about sex is when I am using it as a weapon to gain something more valuable. You, on the other hand, having nothing valuable I desire. I'm sure you're going to tell me you have all sorts of precious knowledge," she said, raising both her hand and her voice in an attempt to drown out his protests, "but I really don't care about that. If it's not shiny or bejeweled, and I can't take it with me and sell it to someone, then I do not care. Knowledge is just as valuable as your children's television suggests, but only the right sort. The sort you have will not get me very far. So yes, I am quite serious about sleeping with you."

"But--"

"I understand if someone like you is so considerably out of practice that he feels this particular line of questioning passes for foreplay, but I assure you, it does not."

"I--"

"Shut up and actually _do_ something before I regret having come in here," she sighed. She really did not understand what it was about so-called geniuses that they didn't understand very basic concepts. And there was really no concept more basic than this. Ancient-devised network of Stargates or no, the entirety of the human race was based on reproduction.

"Okay," said McKay, quite obediently, which showed that he could be taught. Vala was immensely pleased with herself. McKay stripped to his boxers and approached the bed like he was still waiting for her to mock him, hit him, or both. Vala just sat up and patted the spot next to her as invitingly as she could manage.

"I don't bite, Dr. McKay. Well, I do. But only if you ask."

McKay's jaw dropped open, then snapped shut. He sat down. He looked incredibly nervous.

"You remind me of a virgin bride on her wedding night," she said, amused.

"I'll have you know, I'm not... that."

"A virgin, or a woman?"

"Either," he huffed, his cheeks going red and his eyes going dark. He seemed more comfortable now, arguing with her. Maybe he was just a confrontational person by nature. Vala rather liked that; she was a bit confrontational herself. "All right, how are we going to do this?" he asked. "Am I supposed to kiss you or something?"

"It'd be a start."

"Okay." Dr. McKay was beginning to get into the idea, she'd noticed, now that he was on the bed with a half-naked woman, particularly one that was wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in. He wasn't a terrible kisser. He was enthusiastic but not sloppy. Vala made a mental note to tell Samantha about the experience later, just to see her face.

Dr. McKay lay tentative hands just above her hips. Vala sighed with some relief and enjoyment. It had taken entirely too long for them to get to this point. She leaned into the kiss, nudged one of his hands upwards. She might have been a manipulator of men, but she couldn't remember ever having to actually physically manipulate a man before. It was almost too much effort. He gave a squeeze, and she responded with a moan that she hoped he would interpret as 'yes, more of that, please,' because it would turn her off immensely to actually have to say it.

This seemed to encourage him, because then he was far more robust with his hands, exploring, stroking and squeezing where applicable. Vala felt some of her mental tension abate, and her physical tension build, which was the far better option as to how the scales should tip. Vala traced her tongue over his and reclined at his nudging request. McKay moved his lips down her neck, his hand down to her hip, her thigh, and Vala just had his pants in the vicinity of his knees when the door whooshed open.

"Hey, McKay, I was just-- what in the _hell_."

Dr. McKay let out something of a bark, trying to disentangle himself from Vala, getting tangled in the pants around his knees, then lost his balance and went crashing to the floor. Vala waggled her fingers at Lt. Col. Sheppard. "Well, hello there."

"Am I interrupting something?" the colonel said wryly, looking as though he was torn between amusement and horror. He looked at Dr. McKay on the floor, hoisting up his trousers, and Vala on the bed, adjusting the straps of her lingerie. "Am I _missing_ something?"

"I think I bruised my coccyx," moaned the good doctor.

"No, you're not missing anything at all," said Vala. "But I think I'm the one that's missing out." She flipped her hair over one shoulder and batted her eyes. The colonel, if the rumors around Stargate Command were anything to go by, would not be much of a challenge at all, but would be multiple times the fun. Sometimes one needed to make a judgement call. She rose smoothly to her feet, hopped over Dr. McKay, and scampered to Lt. Col. Sheppard's side. "Care to rectify that situation?"

He raked his eyes over her and grinned. "You're a very difficult woman to say no to, aren't you?"

"So I've been told," she said, looping her arm through his. "Thank you for an interesting afternoon, Dr. McKay."

"Charmed, I'm sure," he grunted dispassionately. "If you two are just going to leave me here, could you send in Beckett? And some painkillers?"


End file.
